Sunday, October 18, 2020
Real Live People
Monday, August 31, 2020
He Will Hold Me Fast
Saturday, August 15, 2020
Dear Twenty-Year-Old Jen,
Be open, be humble, be kind, be confident. There are things you think you know about living...boldly go with them. At the same time, learn from ALL of the people in your path...take mental notes on ways you wanna live and ways you don't, and then let that shape your behavior.Trust Mr. Wood with everything you have (you end up marrying him, by the way...). He is wise, he is good, he will not ever lie to you. Listen to him when he tells you there is something you don't have the money to do because he knows what he is talking about. Respect him. Tell him often that you do.
Oh, and keep wearing those cute little pearl earrings, or one day, when you're in your forties, you'll try to put in earrings and realize your holes have nearly closed up. Bummer.
You are going to be the mama of boys. Start watching superhero movies now to get a head start. Boys are FUN, so fun...you have no idea right now what joy they are going to bring to your home. Embrace it all...
You will eventually get the new siding and shutters on the old house you buy. Just be patient. You probably won't ever refinish the original wood floors, though...just deal with it.
Goodness, the people you will be able to know and love along the way. There will be so many of them. For a lot of years, your circle will be naturally formed by the people in the churches you work in...that's normal and fine. However, somewhere around 2010, you and Mr. Wood will both enter the regular old workforce, and you will both meet so many new people and make so many new friends. It will be so fun. Life will become different and wild and more colorful, and you will love it! Learn from all of these new people...hang with them, love them and be loved by them.
There will be JOY, such joy. Not every day will be happy, but there will be a deep and abiding joy from the Father that will sustain you. Lean in to that. Draw strength from it on the happy days and the not-happy days.
Marriage is work. Do.the.work. Start with the work inside of you. Don't be afraid of it. Talk to someone if you can't figure it out yourselves. Don't be scared to ask for help.
There will be hurt. People will hurt you deeply. I'm sorry. I really am. I wish there was a "skip" card to play, but there just isn't. I want you to know that you will live through it and come out on the other side. It sounds cliche, but VERY beautiful things will be born out of it. Keep living, keep breathing, keep loving...it's worth it.
PLEASE tell Mr. Wood to keep that track suit. Your oldest son will be an old soul and he will want it some day.
When you are 45, you will get a tattoo in Mr. Wood's handwriting, reminding you that you're enough. It will be born out of your self-discovery when writing a "coming of age" letter to your niece. When you tell Parida, the tattoo artist, that you are 45 and this is your first tattoo, she will excitedly reply "Hell yeah, bitch!". Hahahhaha!!
Trust your gut. It's one of the ways God will nudge you. You will "just know" when something is right or wrong for your family. Fully trust that.
Raising kids will be one of the most rewarding things you will ever do and also one of the most exhausting. Keep at it. Help them to be great boys, expose them to so many things, explain to them your expectations, be consistent so they can trust your word. Take them to faraway places so they know the world doesn't revolve around them. At the same time, teach them to deeply value the space they are in. Be honest with them. Apologize. Show them grace. Let them know early on that you will pay for their therapy that you will surely be the cause of. Enjoy every season with them...it gets more and more fun.
Be real. Be kind always. Be life-giving.
Tuesday, August 4, 2020
If you just decide to be happy, you can be...
Wednesday, May 22, 2019
On disappointment....
Friday, January 18, 2019
Old Friends...
Music makes me think, it paints a picture in my head that sticks around for awhile. Sometimes this sticking inspires me to change my behavior or thinking; other times it makes me remember earlier times with vivid clarity.
This song makes me remember, and the remembering causes me to be grateful. The friends I have made in the last 30 years have brought joy and growth to my life in ways I can't even put into words and sentences. And yet, there is something about those friends from childhood that cannot be replicated or recreated.
I could make my way around John and Judy's house on Holly Lane with a blindfold on. I can still see in my mind the Tupperware pitcher of tea in the refrigerator. If I concentrate really hard, I can hear the bug zapper on the back deck. I could dial their landline phone number right now, from memory. Down the stairs and on the left is the closet where the rock salt was kept. Jill and I would sometimes eat a piece (that's so weird, why did we do that??). No one else can reminisce with me about going to Lincoln Trail park on a Saturday and playing on the equipment while our parents cooked breakfast on a fire and drank coffee. Her aunts and uncles and grandparents became mine. [Side note: now I live in her grandma's house, and the preciousness of this is not lost on me]
No one besides Nicole knows about the time our parents created chocolate syrup out of Nesquik and milk because the Hersheys syrup was all gone. Only Mike and Lesli will laugh when we recall me telling Mike "you should feel the back of my teeth with your tongue" (don't ask!). It was Nicole's living room at Golf Lakes where I watched Dirty Dancing for the first time and dreamed of one day having my own Patrick Swayze (oh yeah, Mr. Wood fits the bill!!).
Every Sunday afternoon, it was either on 7th Street or Michigan Avenue where Gretchen and I wrote a new original musical to perform for whatever parents we could sucker into watching. The back bedroom of their giant two-story house was the location for the store Gretchen's older sister would create for us to come shopping in. Only Gretchen could tell you what we ordered every Sunday night after church at the L&K. I can still see in my mind Jack's mug in the downstairs bathroom that said "I hate it when it snows on my french toast".
These friends are not a part of my every day life these days, but I know they would be right here if I needed them, as would their parents. There is something so very special about the folks who have known us and our people from way back.
"No one knows you like they know you and no one probably ever will...you can't make old friends...."
Sunday, December 30, 2018
Keep doing the thing...
good to good people, good to the good-hearted.
But I nearly missed it,
missed seeing his goodness.
I was looking the other way,
looking up to the people
At the top,
envying the wicked who have it made,
Who have nothing to worry about,
not a care in the whole wide world.
they wear the latest fashions in violence,
Pampered and overfed,
decked out in silk bows of silliness.
They jeer, using words to kill;
they bully their way with words.
They’re full of hot air,
loudmouths disturbing the peace.
People actually listen to them—can you believe it?
Like thirsty puppies, they lap up their words.
Nobody’s tending the store.
The wicked get by with everything;
they have it made, piling up riches.
I’ve been stupid to play by the rules;
what has it gotten me?
A long run of bad luck, that’s what—
a slap in the face every time I walk out the door.
I would have betrayed your dear children.
Still, when I tried to figure it out,
all I got was a splitting headache . . .
Until I entered the sanctuary of God.
Then I saw the whole picture:
The slippery road you’ve put them on,
with a final crash in a ditch of delusions.
In the blink of an eye, disaster!
A blind curve in the dark, and—nightmare!
We wake up and rub our eyes. . . . Nothing.
There’s nothing to them. And there never was.
totally consumed by envy,
I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox
in your very presence.
I’m still in your presence,
but you’ve taken my hand.
You wisely and tenderly lead me,
and then you bless me.
You’re all I want on earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
God is rock-firm and faithful.
Look! Those who left you are falling apart!
Deserters, they’ll never be heard from again.
But I’m in the very presence of God—
oh, how refreshing it is!
I’ve made Lord God my home.
God, I’m telling the world what you do!