Holy Interruptions

It happens to me a lot...the reminding of what is most important, what really matters.  It happened again this morning.

I always have plans in my mind.  There are a jillion things I "should" be doing at any given moment.  The laundry, the cleaning, the projects...they often go undone here at the Woodshed.  Sometimes they go undone because I really am busy doing more important things.  Often, they go undone because, when I finally finish all of the important things, I frankly just don't want to do the laundry, the cleaning, the projects.  So, on the rare occasions when the "time to" and the "want to" come together in a beautiful marriage, I like to run with that.  This morning is one of those such times.  I had a space of time and the gumption inside to finish some things hanging over me.  Then, Ezra asked if we could cuddle.  Well, of course we can cuddle.  That turned into "can we watch a movie and eat our breakfast in the living room?". Well, sure.  That's no problem.  Then, the frozen waffles he could make on his own turned into "can you make real waffles, mama?".  Umm, yes, I'd, ahem, love to, dear sweet boy."  At this point, I'm watching the space of time for my plans slip away.  We finished up the waffles, and just as I was closing the dishwasher, thinking "ok, I think I can still get this done", that sweet boy came in and said, "Mama, can you pour me some coffee with Irish Cream?".  AAAGHGHGHAAGHGHG!!!!

Ok, so pouring coffee doesn't even take that long, but the Irish Cream is new, and I'll have to take the seal off, and that takes forever, and I just want to DO WHAT I WANT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT...I read this article this morning, posted by my friend, and I think of that mama.  She would give anything for even one more holy interruption.  She would gladly open the new creamer this morning if it meant just one more moment with her precious boy.   I'm going to pour the coffee with a grateful heart in her honor this morning, and I think I'll even sit and watch the end of A-Team and drink my own cup right along with him.

You see, I firmly believe that our boys are not in charge of our house, and, so, their demands should never dictate all that happens.  However, this morning, it hit me in a new way.  What if those holy interruptions really ARE the real stuff of life.  Maybe I have always had it backwards.  I've just assumed that the plans I have are the REAL things I should be doing, and most roadblocks to those plans are just annoying, or amusing at best.  Maybe the divine plan for me has more to do with the holy interruptions and less to do with the plans I make.  I won't dump the plans altogether...I mean, I can't go on wearing unwashed jeans FOREVER, and I really do think I'd like to finish those projects some day...but, for today, I'll drink the coffee.  I'll snuggle a little longer.  I'll give thanks for the holy interruptions.

The Gap

Although you won't find me making fun of anyone who has made resolutions, I haven't made any for myself.  I also can't zero in on one word for the year as I have in some past years....

The one thing I can't get my mind off of or wrap my brain around, though, is our family's role in narrowing the gap between us and those who need things we have.  It has been eating at me for years.  I can point back to when I read the book The Irresistible Revolution as the starting point for the gnawing at my brain and heart.  Oh sure, we've done small things to try and narrow the gap...getting rid of (some) excess, giving more, doing our part (or at least attempting) to be nice to the planet, reaching out here and there, secretly meeting needs of people we know, adopting a boy in El Salvador and a girl in Ecuador through Compassion International, praying about whether we should adopt an orphan....  While these are all good things, and I'm grateful for the small changes our family has made, we still have an "us" and "them" mentality.  "We" help "them".  "They" need food or money, so "we" throw it towards "them".  "We" feel stirred, so "we" adopt another child through Compassion.

Meanwhile, we go on with our lives, spending the grocery money each week and only feeling angst when we've reached the budget limit and therefore the shoe polish Dad needed and the more expensive shampoo Mom wanted will have to wait until next week.  We have all that we need and more.  Our clothes are generally in style and they are certainly warm and in our size.  The gloves I got for Christmas (which I love) cost as much as caring for a child in Ecuador for a whole month.  Our vehicles, while I wish they were newer and had that new fangled "talk on the phone through your car" system, are not more than 10 years old and run well.

So, how do we reconcile this?  How do we narrow the gap and erase "them" and "us" from our vocabulary?  How do we enter into community with people who need things we have?  That's what I'm looking for this year.  That's what I'm praying about.  That's what I long for.  I can't reduce it to a resolution or a word, but it is what it is...it is what is in my heart for our family...for 2014 and beyond.

On growing...

Recently our family has had a situation in which I have not felt like acting very much like Jesus. Isaac, on the other hand, has been the picture of grace, humble strength, and Christ-likeness. I have learned from and been convicted by his choices.

How did this happen before my very eyes? This baby I rocked and cuddled has become my brother in the kingdom, leading me when I'm not sure what the next move should be, gently correcting me when my moves are selfish and my motives impure.

Isaac, in response to Tim's thoughts on the situation and a possible scenario, responded to Tim, "I'd like to pray about it first." So this morning, Tim said to me, "there is a sense in which he is his own man now. Of course, we are still his parents and his authority, but he has a greater Father."

Yes, he does, and it's what I want for him and what we've worked for and prayed for, but there are moments when I'd like for that man-child to go back to being a baby whose issues could be solved by nursing, rocking, and singing to him.

And so we go on...navigating this world together, a world that is not our home. We long for heaven together and we spur each other on...well, Isaac spurring and me pouting under my breath.

No, it is certainly not all bliss...

 My husband knows me, and so he surely knew this post was coming.  I am nothing if not real, and I felt the need for full disclosure on this one.

Remember the other night on facebook when I put this cutesy picture of us and said, "goin on a hot date with this guy"?  It was our 15 year anniversary, and we headed out on a hot date.  By the end of it, things were hot alright, but not in the way you might have imagined.

When dinner was almost over, things turned south...we were in a full blown argument by the time we hit Starbucks.  I managed to still order my Starbucks...few things get in the way of that, you know!  We continued to argue and could not figure out a way to solve this one.  It was a doozy.  We drove home, still not on the same page...me feeling confused and wondering why I still am learning more of the inner workings of this man I love fiercely, him feeling hurt and alone.  We went to bed mad...I know, I know...that's a no-no, but I was tired, and nothing was getting any better.

We woke up the next morning with apologies and tears and explanations and understandings.  It is hard work, this marriage thing.  It takes humility and intense listening.  It takes effort to understand and to be willing to still learn new...yes, I said NEW...things about each other.  We have been married for 15 years, and we dated for 3 years before that, and yet there are still things to be discovered.

The work is worth it, but it is work, nonetheless.  It is not always bliss.  Sometimes it is ugly.  And yet, it is ALWAYS worth it.

On Christmas...

• A friend asked me today whether we give a lot of gifts at Christmas, and if not, what are some ways to prepare kids for a lean year.  I wrote out my thoughts in a message and then decided this may be something useful for others....and it may not be, but I just felt compelled to share.
  
  Christmas...well, we kind of do different things every year which I think actually has helped with our boys not having certain expectations of Christmas...not that we planned that...it just happened that things (resources, our location, etc) would be different each year, so it has always been different.
• On the lean years, we have focused on giving. Strangely, Isaac will still say that his VERY favorite Christmas ever was the year we (meaning Tim and I) didn't buy them a single present. We took the money (not much, mind you) that we would have spent on them and used it to buy Christmas for an Angel Tree child. Of course, they still got presents from Grandmas and aunts and uncles, but we only filled their stockings and that was all.  We thought Isaac (he was really the only one old enough to totally know the difference) would have HATED that, but he just said again the other day that it was his favorite Christmas. We did a TON of explaining and talking ahead of time, though...talking through the fact that they would still get presents from other people and the kids we were buying for would perhaps not get any presents at all if we weren't buying for them...talking about the fact that their parent was in prison and how sad that would be and that maybe we could bring them some joy, etc
  
  Now, that is an extreme you may not want to go for...but there have been other years when money just wasn't there and one thing we did was try to spend as little money as possible but get things that make Christmas day SUPER fun...dart guns, cheap(er) board games, craft-ish things we could do together, etc.
• I have been shocked by our boys' grace and resilience in this area. It would seem that the more "stuff" on Christmas morning, the happier, but we have found the opposite to be the case. Now, that doesn't mean that we haven't had years where we've had LOTS of stuff. In fact, this year, we're spending a bit more than usual. BUT I am already praying that the "stuff" will not drown out the family and the reason for the day....which reminds me...as cliche as it may sound, one other thing that helps us focus is reminding ourselves and the boys that the reason for the day is Jesus' birthday. So, we have a birthday cake for Jesus which they look forward to and get pretty excited about.  Although they typically get in a fight over which one of them gets to blow out the candles...so the effect doesn't last long...haha
• 
  

Cousins

 The oldest cousin meets the youngest cousin.  I think they love each other already.

The two toothless wonders...

 Watching Arthur Christmas....I'm pretty sure this is the first quiet and still moment of the day.

We missed you, Georgia cousins.  Let's go to Florida, ok?  Right now...this week...ok???

Grammie's Noodles

She always makes the noodles.

This year, she made them at our house so I could learn how she makes them.  I wrote down everything she said, but I think Simon has it memorized so he can take charge of the noodles if Grammie ever stops making them.

The recipe (click to enlarge):

Hello Second Grade!

A week from today, I shall become, among the other things which define me,

Mrs. Wood, 2nd grade teacher.

I am VERY excited and super grateful for God's provision of opportunities in our family.  We can look back and see how he has used the ups and downs of our lives to bring us to this point.  Always in my mind, though, is the fact that an opportunity for me means some loss in others' lives.  Mrs. Meehan, who was my fifth grade teacher and Isaac's 2nd grade teacher, is retiring earlier than she planned, and I'm certain that when she imagined her retirement, this is never the way she saw it happening in her mind.  So, it is a bittersweet thing for me...the sweet in the looks on those kiddos faces today when I got to break the news to them that we would be spending every day together, the bitter as I think that Mrs. Meehan thought she would be spending every day with them during this school year.  Life is made up of the bitter and the sweet and they go together to make something beautiful.

I am thankful...for a new adventure, for a job I LOVE, for Mrs. Meehan and others who have left a legacy before me...

I just now stopped to listen...

...and this is what I'm hearing:

• rain on the tin roof of our porch
• Simon singing Ezra to sleep
• Tim talking on the phone to a sweet college student, talking him through how to love his room mate to Jesus
• thunder rolling
• a quilt and coffee calling out my name

Loving the sounds in this old house tonight.

On the Journey Towards Green

The Wood family has by no means "arrived" in the area of being green.  In fact, unless God speaks in a clear English voice to me about the subject, this mama will likely never enforce using the used sink water to flush the toilet.  However, we have arrived upon some convictions for our family on this subject.  I thought it might be fun to share them in case some of you find yourselves wondering what your family could do.  We don't, in any way, claim that these are things that all people should do...we're just sharing where we're at in hopes that it may inspire or encourage you on your journey.

Why green??  Well, for us, it started when we read the book The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne.  The subject of the book is not really "green living", but it did convict our hearts as we realized that we have been entrusted with resources and we had not been taking good care...or ANY care...of many of those resources.  It convicted us in other areas as well, but those are blog posts for another day.

We started slowly...in the beginning we simply recycled cardboard and that was all.  Then we added plastics and paper.  This family threw away a LOT of paper!!!!  We soon realized that we had almost no trash anymore and, for awhile, we even canceled our trash service.  A few months later, we started back up with the trash service because, even though we had very little trash, we still needed for it to go somewhere.  However, we were able to sign up for a lesser quantity, lower cost service.

 Next, we started using cloth napkins.  We keep them in a bowl or a basket in the middle of the table. I already had some cloth napkins, and I bought a couple more sets on clearance at TJ Maxx and Burlington Coat Factory. You could also make them from a sheet or your favorite material, but I haven't been that ambitious.  At first it was difficult to convince the boys that they really could wipe ketchup or barbecue sauce on the cloth napkin, but now they are pros, believe me!!

 Most recently, I have stopped buying paper towels.  I bought two packages of shop towels in the automotive department at Wal-Mart and this adorable large cookie jar, also from Wal-Mart.  I painted a piece of card stock with chalkboard paint and glued it on the cookie jar.  Again, it took a few tries to get the boys to wipe up their spills with these rather than running for toilet paper or the McDonalds napkins in the glove box of the car, but now they know just what to do when a spill occurs.  Ok...they don't always do it, but they know WHAT to do.

What about keeping these napkins and shop towels clean though?  It really has not added any work to my life.  I bought this cute little apple basket at Goodwill for 99 cents.  It sits in our mudroom and everyone knows that you bring the soiled napkins or towels into the mudroom, spray them with the "we hope this doesn't stain" spray, and drop them in this basket.  When the basket gets full, I throw them in the washer...maybe along with some towels or by themselves if there are enough for a load or with underwear...who knows.  Ok, not with underwear, well maybe not.  Perhaps you should never use the cloth napkins if you come to our house.  Haha!!!

There you have it...either my first of many or maybe my first and only post on green living at the Wood house.

Loving our new chalkboard quote...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

–Marianne Williamson

Thankful...

...for air conditioning

...for the mild weather we've had so far this year and lots of picnics like this one































































...for the season of life we are in

...for a trip to Holiday World with no nursing, swim diapers, or strollers!!!

...for a God who SEES us, LOVES us, CARES about our deepest pains as well as the shallow ones

...for vacation coming soon

...for days at home in our jammies

...for the WORD that is living and active

...for Jesus, our savior, redeemer, our hope

...for a big boy in our house who loves Jesus and loves his little brothers

...for the little brothers--the joy and laughs they bring

...for big kids in our lives...too many to list, but SO grateful for ALL of them!

...for Family Video free movies from report card As :)

Fifteen Things...

1.  I accomplished Day 1 of Couch to 5k today.
2.  Even though I loathe exercising, I always always ALWAYS feel so good after I do it.
3.  I ate a brownie and a bowl of ice cream after supper.
4.  My boys are on their 7th episode of The Avengers because they are so excited about the movie tomorrow night.
5.  It is ok with me if they keep watching it until bedtime.
6.  My husband and I had a fight about money tonight.
7.  Actually, I fought, and he listened and responded patiently.
8.  I hate it when he does that.
9.  Tomorrow is Opening Day of baseball for our town.
10.  Baseball is my favorite sport to watch my boys play.
11.  There are only 8 more regular days of school.
12.  At this point, no school day is actually "regular".
13.  I'm wearing a pair of cut-off sweats that one of my college room mates was going to throw away 10 years ago but instead gave to me.
14.  Clearly, I need a shopping trip (see #6...haha!).
15.  I am thankful for my wise husband (see #7).

And, because no post is quite as exciting if it doesn't have a photo, I'll leave you with this...I got up on the roof of south school to take a picture of the whole school for next year's handbook.  They told me to photoshop myself in, but, sadly, they did not choose to use this version for the handbook.  I am still not sure what the problem is???

Every promise kept, every need You've met...

My poison ivy, although healing, is so itchy and gross and I had to make Ezra wear dirty socks today because we couldn't find a matching clean pair and I need to iron Tim's shirts but I also need to do laundry (clearly, since we couldn't find matching socks) and we have 2 or 3 projects started in the house but not finished and this morning I realized we had not paid our state taxes yet even though in my brain I was thinking it was all taken care of BUT on the way to school I put my ipod on shuffle and I heard "...May the love that caught my heart to set it free be the love that others see in me.  And may this hope that reaches to the depths of human need be the song that I sing in joy and suffering. For you are the love that never leaves, the friend that won't deceive.  You're the one sure thing...Faithful God every promise kept, every need You've met, Faithful God..."  (Laura Story's "Faithful God").  Everything around me is the same, but it all loses its significance when placed beside this truth....when I'm only looking at my issues, they seem so big, but placed beside God's faithfulness, my issues become so small.

I'll play with you guys...

Mama Bear declared a no-media day today.  Why, then, is Mama Bear on the computer right now?  Well, because she's the mama bear AND because she doesn't want to forget this moment.

So, I don't know about you, but at our house a no-media day (as much as I'd like to think it is) is NOT full of rainbows and butterflies where we all sit around and make crafts together and talk about how much we love each other and we wish we didn't even own a play station because this day is so fun.  Oh, no...a no-media day for us is more like a recently hospitalized heroin addict de-toxing.   I have a memory of Ezra once saying, "If I can't watch Power Rangers, I think I will die".

We believe its worth it, though, so we occasionally declare these days.  Today, I had a small glimpse of why we do it.  I heard Ezra say, "I'm going to play."  Then Simon said, "Me too".  And then, the big boy said (drum roll, please) "I'll play with you guys."  YIKES!!!  A moment of success!!!!  Yay!!!!!!

Okay, just in the time it took me to type this, they finished whatever it was they were playing and now that same big boy is in his room until he discovers a good attitude...BUT for that moment, they chose to play together and I'll take that moment.

Beneath the Surface...

I read a great blog post on marriage here today.  I loved reading it because its just always good to know that someone has been where you've been or where you are.  Sometimes we see the rosy outside of others' lives and assume that what's going on in our lives, hearts, and families is so awful and dirty compared to those beautiful and glossy "outsides" we see on others.

Isn't it good to know that everyone (and I DO mean EVERYONE!!) has dirty nasty stuff on the inside?  Doesn't it give you hope when you hear that others have felt about their spouse or their kids the same way you have about yours?

We are not supposed to stay there...in that yucky place...we are called to make difficult choices that will move us past that yucky place.  But, wow, does it help us to make the difficult choices when we know that someone else JUST LIKE US has done it and that it was worth it!!!

I love it when people are honest about their struggles, when I get a chance to see past the rosy exterior.  I know I write a lot about how much I LOVE the fabulous Mr. Wood and those three boys of mine.  Do you ever think we have the perfect family?  Have I deceived you by writing such fun things about how hot my husband is and how funny my kids are?  Those things are all VERY true..he IS hot and they ARE funny and I DO love them.  God has placed me in a family that I don't deserve and I am GRATEFUL.  But do not be deceived...there is dirty yuck inside of our family just like there is in all of yours.  It has been redeemed by Jesus' sacrifice for us, but sometimes we forget that and we choose to live in the yuck.

We have arguments, we've gone for periods of time without speaking, I say mean things to my husband for the purpose of hurting him.  We've had credit card debt.  We've fought (really badly!) about money.  I've managed, not once, but twice to amass some huge credit card debt without Tim knowing and then we've had to navigate through confessing that and fixing it and restoring trust.  Tim has a temper that most people don't see, but those of us whom he loves the most get to see it.  There have been moments in the last 14 years when I have understood the feelings of a wife and mom who just walks away.

So, you see, when I write things about my sweet family, I'm writing from a place of knowing that we are not always sweet, but choosing to see the sweetness.  It takes work.  Its a choice, a DAILY choice to act in a loving way even on days I don't feel loved.  I fail, oh, how I fail miserably.  BUT it is worth it.  I would rather make the hard choices with this man than with anyone else.

That was me...

"Then he will turn to the 'goats,' the ones on his left, and say, 'Get out, worthless goats! You're good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because—
   I was hungry and you gave me no meal,
   I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
   I was homeless and you gave me no bed,
   I was shivering and you gave me no clothes,
   Sick and in prison, and you never visited.'
Then those 'goats' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?'
He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.' "
                                  Matthew 25:42-45

That phrase "someone who was being overlooked or ignored" gnaws at me.  I'm pretty good at overlooking people.  I am especially good at it when the "overlooked ones" are lazy or dirty or just not my "type" of person.  If I'm brutally honest, people have to deserve my help before I'm excited about giving it to them.  Before you judge me, admit with me for a moment that when you see someone waste the help they've been given, you don't exactly look forward to helping them again.

Imagine my surprise when Christ reminds me that it is not just the deserving he expects me to help.  Anyone who is hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison---anyone being overlooked or ignored---they are the ones I am called to feed, host, cover, serve, and visit.  "I don't want to," I tell Him.  "You don't have to want to," he replies (oh dear, he SO borrowed that line off of my Dad!!).

I'm not sure what this is supposed to look like in my life, but I am sure of one thing...I want to spend my days figuring it out because I know that I know that I know that I never want to hear Christ say to me, "That was me---you failed to do it to me".

I love him.

On this Valentine's Day, I'm feeling grateful...

...for a man who loves me, who doesn't ever lie to me, who is FUN, who thinks of me before himself, who loves Jesus with all of his heart, who is a fantastic Dad, who is passionate (about me and other things..haha!), who is MINE

...and yet, I'm also grateful that I don't need him to live, that he reminds me that if something were to happen to him, I would be okay, that he is not my Savior even though I sometimes mistakenly think of him this way

It's a great feeling, this fantastic love that points me to the love of a Savior who I DO need to live

My loverboy, modeling his duct tape tie from Isaac

Right now...

Outside my window...its dark, wet, and cold but I don't mind.

I am thinking...that it's always best if I get everything ready for the morning before I go to bed, but I don't really want to.

I am thankful for...our home, a safe place God has given us.

From the kitchen...not too much cause mama and daddy had a date for lunch and Grammie took us out for supper...can I get a yee haw??? To redeem myself, maybe I'll whip up a batch of Rice Krispie treats...or maybe not. :)

I am wearing...green pants and black shirt...bought the shirt when I was pregnant with Ezra (early pregnant, its not maternity...I just remember growing out of it as I got more pregnant).

I am creating...a new office in the sitting room and I can't stop thinking about it and pinning things about it.

I am going...to Florida this summer and since I've been making some reservations this week, I've become quite excited!!!

I am reading...The Passage by Justin Cronin and the book of Matthew by, well, Matthew

I am hoping...that we have some snow days, even though that means we don't get out of school as early, but snow days are just FUN!!!

I am hearing...someone come down the stairs...hmmm, all of the someone's should be in bed, perhaps I should check this out!!

Around the house...I've been simplifying and organizing...that always feels so good!!

One of my favorite things...hugs from my boys

A few plans for the rest of the week...our final Christmas celebration (haha...its almost February!!) with friends, the big boy is turning 11 which will involve some pizza and laser tagging with the brothers and the daddy, and there will be basketball..lots and lots of basketball

A Change-Up of Tonight's To-Do List

All of the normal things were on the to-do list for this evening...chores, homework, baths, an episode of Murder She Wrote (our family's current favorite on Netflix), the usual, BUT then I read this post and the to-do list has changed.  We'll be writing a letter and gathering photos for David, our Compassion child in El Salvador.  We've written a few times before and we sent one picture, but can I be gut-wrenchingly honest here?  Sometimes my stupid selfish awful mind thinks "does he really see our exact letter?  does the real David really get our real letters and photos?".  Its not that I think anyone lies about it, but there are just so many children....does our stuff really go straight to him?  I hate that I even THINK that, and I hate that I'm typing it here for the world to see, but that's the raw, real me.  Then I read that post and ended up with tears streaming.  Wow...David does know us, he is waiting for our next letter.  That's what we'll be doing this evening.  Its' coming, David, just hold on.  We're here.  We love you.  We're putting you before chores and homework and baths and even Murder She Wrote.  We are sorry, so very sorry its taken us so long.