Wednesday, May 22, 2019

On disappointment....


I do not enjoy being disappointed...by people, by situations, by decisions that affect me. Does anyone? Even more than that, though, the thing I absolutely want none of is watching my boys deal with disappointment.

Oh sure, I know all of the right answers...the ones we say to them when they are disappointed...that this will build their character, that there is something better out there for them, that this wasn’t meant to be...but, even as I hear myself repeating these truths to my kids, I really wish I could change reality and give them what they were hoping for.

If I’m being honest, our three boys have not been dealt any major disappointments.  They haven't experienced any great loss, things come fairly easily to them, none of them have had any enemies to speak of.  And yet, there have been moments in each of their lives that have brought tears and even some despair.  

I.want.to.fix.it.  I want Jesus to take the wheel and re-navigate the situation to my boy’s benefit because I.want.it.fixed., thank you very much.

But what if the disappointment is the gift? What if getting the full scholarship would not have taken him to the places that watching God piece together the provision will take him? What if it’s in the dugout or on the bench where he will find the joy, the learning, the opportunity for the most important growth? What if getting a supporting role instead of the lead teaches him that it’s not all about being center stage? What if losing the game actually brings about more opportunities than winning would have? What if getting what he thought he wanted would have brought unnecessary pain or heartache? And then what if occasionally there really isn't any explanation except that life sucks sometimes because we live in a broken world?

This is where I land, time and again.  These boys were never really mine to control like pinballs in an arcade game.  They belong to the Father, and he sees their lives in ways I am incapable of seeing in. I trust him.  I have to, as I know no other way.

It will, indeed, all be ok...