Happy Five Twelfths of a Year Old, Simon!!

Simon, we all adore you.  You are a happy baby.  You mostly love to wiggle and drool.  Ezra attacks you with kisses and squeezes.  I'm sorry we don't always protect you from him...he means well!!  Isaac loves to hold you and is fascinated with the ways you change and grow. Daddy loves to hold you, but he can not stand your drool.  It's pretty funny that you can cause a grown man to run simply by drooling on him...perhaps you should remember that trick when you get older!!  I love your sweet smile and your hugs and kisses.  You are becoming a bit of a mama's boy, but I don't mind.  I know in a couple of years, you'll join the big boys in their antics, so I'll take all of the time I can get!!

I thought I'd include a couple of shots of your brothers at about the same age you are now.  Everyone always has a definite opinion about which one of your brothers you look like.  I always just agree with everyone no matter what they say.  However, I thought the world might like to see the three of you all in one blog, so...

This one is of Isaac.  Of course, we didn't have a digital camera then.  We actually used a camera with film, and all of those pictures are nicely scrapbooked.  You see, I love Isaac more than I love you and Ezra, or, I mean, I had more time back then when there was only one of you, so Isaac's pictures are all scrapbooked with journaling and cheesy stickers.  Anyway, back to this picture of Isaac...it was taken with Josh and Jacki's brand new (at the time) digital camera.  I might be wrong, but I think that camera actually took 3 1/2 floppy disks, which we now use for coasters.  

This one is Ezra.  He still makes that ornery little face, and it usually means that he's up to no good.  Ezra's pictures aren't scrapbooked either, so you and he can go to therapy together some day and share about the ways your mama didn't love you as much as Isaac.  Send me the bill...we'll be rich by then because we won't be paying to buy food, clothes, diapers, and sports fees for you boys anymore.

Perspective

Tim and I were talking on the front porch this afternoon.  It was a serious conversation, and, yes, I was crying (I'm such a girl!!).  For those of you who know us in real life, I'd like to point out that WE WERE NOT FIGHTING!!  I thought you'd be pleased to know that! :)  Anyway, there's no moral failure in either of our lives (well, no giant ones, anyway), no one has cancer, and neither of us was asking for a divorce.  However, the conversation was quite upsetting to me.  I should even admit that I was headed in the direction of a "poor me party".  

Then we saw him.  Isaac was a few feet away and his face was screwing up into a cry.  He looked pitiful.  Tim called him over and asked what was wrong.  He wouldn't tell us at first.  Finally, we coaxed it out of him.  He said, "I'm sad about what you said, dad."  Tim said, "which part?"  Isaac slowly and painfully said, "that's she's dying," as he pointed at me and then really started crying.

Oh, no, no, no, NO, NO!!!  Mommy's not dying.  It took us a minute to convince him.  He THOUGHT I WAS DYING.  It was too much for his little seven year old heart.  No, I'm not dying, at least not any time soon that I know of.  So, my "poor me party" got put off for another day.  As far as I know, my boys will still have a mom this time next year.

Even if they don't, though, I know that I know that I know that our Provider, Sustainer, and Father is faithful and that they'll be ok, and that's enough for me.

A quote from that smart guy named Anonymous...

Our Little August Getaway

After a rip roarin' summer typical of the life of a youth minister's family, we always take some time in August to refresh, renew, and revitalize (actually, I think that's what it says on my Mary Kay bottle!!).  In the past, we've visited Holiday World, the Beltz family, and other refreshing renewing destinations.  This year, we visited Isaac's roots....we went to the south suburbs of Chicago.

After we got married, we lived in Park Forest, IL, for three years.  Tim and I were both on staff at Deer Creek Christian Church, me as the children's minister and Tim as the worship minister.  We were actually at different campuses, but I don't have time to explain all of that.  Isaac was born while we lived there.  When it came time to move, something happened with the timing of our houses selling and buying (I can't even remember now, although it seemed quite monumental at the time), and we found ourselves homeless for three weeks.  

So....we moved into a two bedroom apartment with some newlyweds named Josh and Jacki.  Josh was the youth minister, Jacki was in design school in downtown Chicago, Tim was still working as the worship minister, I was trying to figure out how to be a mama and managing to cook dinner for everyone each night, and Isaac was peeing, pooping, and crying loudly enough to convince Josh and Jacki not to have any kids for several years!!

Those were the days...the guys played video games, we got Taco Bell at midnight, we stayed up late talking...the stuff that makes deep friendships, you know?  We stayed with Josh and Jacki (and their new addition, Joel) this August, and things picked up right where we left off.  The Nintendo 64 (or whatever it was they played back then) was replaced with a wii and the Taco Bell was replaced with Dunkin' Donuts coffee, but we still stayed up late talking.  I love loVE LOVE friendships that can just pick up where they left off, and that is what we are blessed with in Josh and Jacki.  It certainly was refreshing and renewing, and, on the way home, we discussed the possibility of making this our yearly August tradition.  We have not, however, informed Josh and Jacki of this plan yet, so keep it on the down-low!!

 

The 3 Big Kids...Simon was sleeping.

Showing the boys our old house...

This is a mural I painted at Deer Creek.  That seems like a lifetime ago.  I could not believe it was still there.  The boys were kind enough to pose for a picture in front of it.

Shaved Ice at Zarlengo's in Chicago Heights...

I dropped another pocket this week...

As the boys are getting older, I am noticing that there are more and more pockets of time during which the seeming control I have over their lives is gone.  Of course, if I'm honest, I must admit that I never really have control of their lives, but let's not go there today, okay? :)

Some pockets of bygone days that come to mind...

...Isaac riding away on Bill's bus, headed to preschool, while I'm sobbing in the living room, wondering if he'll be tempted to drink, smoke pot, and have sex all on the first day.

...leaving the boys with Grandma to go on a cruise, with Ezra recently weaned, wondering if they'll be ok and not able to call home to check on them

...leaving them to go to Haiti (read this post for more on those Mama thoughts)

...the first sleepover for Isaac

...leaving them with sweet young babysitters, feeling certain they'll be okay, but wondering how they'll fare if there's a catastrophe

...sending Isaac to stay with his cousins soon after he FINALLY stopped wearing Pull-ups (will he hate reading this when he's 16??), wondering if he'll be scared, sad, or embarrassed if he has an accident

...and the list could go on...

Isaac has been riding his bike to school this year on his own (or so he thought!).  Little did he know, I've been watching him ride the block to the big road and then sprinting a half a block to peer between two houses and see the crossing guard let him cross.  I have felt compelled to SEE him cross the road and arrive safely at school...until last Friday.  It hit me like a ton of bricks...I don't have to SEE Isaac to know that he's being seen.  I can sit contentedly on my porch swing (well, technically, not anymore since it fell tonight WHILE I WAS SITTING ON IT, but that's a story for another day...) and trust that Isaac is SEEN and KNOWN by his creator.

Another pocket is gone, and I'm glad.  These pockets are getting too heavy for me to carry.