The Grace

Sometimes this Mama loses her $#/&, people.  Sometimes they are at fault, and sometimes they are just being boys or brothers.  When I lose it, they get that look on their faces...the one that communicates "Oh dear, Mama has lost her $#/&!!!!  Here she goes."  I hate it when they get that look as it reeks of despair and maybe even fear...fear of what I think of them in that moment.  I know I am hurting their little souls as I rant.  These are not my finest moments.

It happened just now as we were driving home, as one was unhappy and got a little snippy and that snippy prompted a lot of snippy from another and then the third one decided to get involved.  Then Mama lost it, and the love was not flowing in any direction.

Sometimes, Mama needs to lose it.  When a Mama has three boys, I don't think anyone expects her to be syrupy sweet in every moment, nor should she be.  BUT sometimes this Mama needs to just breathe and love and speak peace and hope instead.

So, I administered the "sorry", and the "sorry" changes things.  They, as always, were so forgiving.  They know how to forgive, these three, and they are full of grace with their Mama.  The big one said, "it's alright", in that voice that is somewhere between child and man.  The little one said, "it's ok, now can I show you my magic trick?".  The middle one looked at me with those big eyes and said, "it's ok.  I still love you" with a sheepish grin.

The grace...it changes everything.

I am...

READING The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown but also at the very same time a fluffy romance novel because sometimes I just need to.

PLAYING Words With Friends, but not very well because I keep getting warnings that I will automatically lose all my games soon.

WATCHING Criminal Minds when I exercise...some days it is the ONLY reason I exercise, folks.

TRYING to exercise every day (see above)

COOKING when I get the chance which is not often...I really should use that crockpot more.

EATING almonds I found hidden in my desk drawer...it was like a giant surprise when I found them!!

DRINKING coffee always...really, what else is there?

CALLING no one, preferably...I don't love talking on the phone.

TEXTING Mr. Wood with sweet nothings...our text history could be a smut novel, and I'm proud of that, people.

PINNING Master Bedroom organization...I can't even...the laundry...I can't put it away, I'm allergic.

TWEETING nothing..I've never tweeted or twittered.

CRAFTING rarely, but it's always fun when I do.  I crafted a little before Christmas and it made me super happy.

DOING my best to do all of the things and still love all of the people.

GOING to a ballgame, always...it's fun, though.

LOVING my people...the ones I live with and the ones I don't, the ones I have sought out and the unexpected surprises...all of the people

HATING injustice, both in the big world out there and in my little world

DISCOVERING that gel polish really doesn't chip off my nails...one of my first world problems solved and it's bringing a little thrill to my life

ENJOYING a new arrangement of my teacher desk area...I love rearrangements that bring a breath of fresh air!

HOPING I make it through this week...I can't even work for five full days, people.

CELEBRATING good news for the littles in my Reading class.....life is good when the littles have victories!!

SMELLING new Scentsy scents...I'm trying to reach the Scentsy level of my friend Lesli, but I don't know if I ever will.

THANKING the Redeemer for being enough, ALL that I need...

CONSIDERING taking some classes...do I really wanna???  ewww....homework....

FINISHING few things...I'm a starter.

STARTING lots of things...I don't always finish, though.