I read a great blog post on marriage here today. I loved reading it because its just always good to know that someone has been where you've been or where you are. Sometimes we see the rosy outside of others' lives and assume that what's going on in our lives, hearts, and families is so awful and dirty compared to those beautiful and glossy "outsides" we see on others.
Isn't it good to know that everyone (and I DO mean EVERYONE!!) has dirty nasty stuff on the inside? Doesn't it give you hope when you hear that others have felt about their spouse or their kids the same way you have about yours?
We are not supposed to stay there...in that yucky place...we are called to make difficult choices that will move us past that yucky place. But, wow, does it help us to make the difficult choices when we know that someone else JUST LIKE US has done it and that it was worth it!!!
I love it when people are honest about their struggles, when I get a chance to see past the rosy exterior. I know I write a lot about how much I LOVE the fabulous Mr. Wood and those three boys of mine. Do you ever think we have the perfect family? Have I deceived you by writing such fun things about how hot my husband is and how funny my kids are? Those things are all VERY true..he IS hot and they ARE funny and I DO love them. God has placed me in a family that I don't deserve and I am GRATEFUL. But do not be deceived...there is dirty yuck inside of our family just like there is in all of yours. It has been redeemed by Jesus' sacrifice for us, but sometimes we forget that and we choose to live in the yuck.
We have arguments, we've gone for periods of time without speaking, I say mean things to my husband for the purpose of hurting him. We've had credit card debt. We've fought (really badly!) about money. I've managed, not once, but twice to amass some huge credit card debt without Tim knowing and then we've had to navigate through confessing that and fixing it and restoring trust. Tim has a temper that most people don't see, but those of us whom he loves the most get to see it. There have been moments in the last 14 years when I have understood the feelings of a wife and mom who just walks away.
So, you see, when I write things about my sweet family, I'm writing from a place of knowing that we are not always sweet, but choosing to see the sweetness. It takes work. Its a choice, a DAILY choice to act in a loving way even on days I don't feel loved. I fail, oh, how I fail miserably. BUT it is worth it. I would rather make the hard choices with this man than with anyone else.