As we were leaving for the hospital in January 2001, I remember telling Tim with genuine fear, "But I don't know HOW to have a baby". His reply was, "Jenn, people who aren't as smart as you have babies all the time. You'll be fine". I giggled, and we got in the car and left.
Lo and behold, that baby came out, and it really had nothing to do with my skill or knowledge or preparation. Isaac was coming out no matter what I did, really.
As Christmas day approaches this year, I find many things left undone. Our Advent wreath only has one candle lit (which means we totally skipped two weeks of Advent). We had great plans for it, but life happened and now we will light the rest tonight as we celebrate that baby. I always make homemade cinnamon rolls, but I just bought canned biscuits to make Monkey Bread instead. We never took a picture for Christmas cards, and somehow I just never sent any out. I love Advent wreaths and homemade cinnamon rolls and Christmas cards, and most years, those things bring me great joy. This year, however, they just aren't going to happen.
That baby still was born, though. It had nothing to do with my skill or anything I had or had not done, really. He came whether I was ready for him or not. He was born right into the midst of my half-done Advent wreath and canned biscuit Monkey bread. He was born to redeem me and save me, and he welcomes the real me.
I love him, this baby Jesus who was born and lived so well and then died to pay for my redemption.